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The computer industry is the only industry that is more fashion-driven than women’s fashion. (Larry Elliso)
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we’ve finished building it. (Anonymous)
I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine! (Ovidiu Platon)
The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s^2. (Anonymous)
I object to doing things that computers can do. (Olin Shivers)
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. (Donald Knuth)
And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. (Bill Bryson)
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. (Edsger W. Dijkstra)
It’s ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know, less than a compact disc. The human condition is really becoming more obsolete every minute. (Marvin Minsky)
Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. (Steve Wozniak)
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked. (Jeff Pesis)
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. (Mitch Radcliffe)
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. (Pablo Picasso)
Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. (Edsger W. Dijkstra)
There’s an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone. (Bjarne Stroustrup)
Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it. (Seymore Cray, on virtual memory)
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. (Jeff Raskin)


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