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Programmers

Programmers aren’t born, they’re compiled. (Deadapostle)
The programmer who programs least, programs best. (Justin Etheredge)
The only thing more dangerous than a hardware guy with a code patch is a programmer with a soldering iron. (Anonymous)
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. (Larry Wall)
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. (Martin Fowler)
Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren’t doing anything. One of the attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they’re sitting there seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated ideas that are scampering around in his head. (Charles M. Strauss)
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague. (Edsger W. Dijkstra)
I will, in fact, claim that the difference between a bad programmer and a good one is whether he considers his code or his data structures more important. Bad programmers worry about the code. Good programmers worry about data structures and their relationships. (Linus Torvalds)
That’s the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers. (Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle)
An organisation that treats its programmers as morons will soon have programmers that are willing and able to act like morons only. (Bjarne Stroustrup)
Programmer – an organism that turns coffee into software. (Anonymous)
As a programmer, it is your job to put yourself out of business. What you do today can be automated tomorrow. (Doug McIlroy)
A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. (Doug Linder)
Don’t argue with people who write with digital ink and pay by the kilowatt-hour. (Don Rittner)
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. (Seymour Cray)
A great lathe operator commands several times the wage of an average lathe operator, but a great writer of software code is worth 10,000 times the price of an average software writer. (Bill Gates)
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. (Weinberg’s Second Law)
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who do not. (Anonymous)
Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers. (Anonymous)
Computer programmers never die, they just become lost in the processing. (Anonymous)
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25. (Andrew Rutherford)
Q: How can you tell an extroverted computer geek from an introverted computer geek ?
A: The introverted computer geek will look at his shoes while he talks to you. The extroverted computer geek will look at your shoes while he talks to you. (Anonymous)
The best way to prepare to be a programmer is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and fished out listings of their operating system. (Bill Gates)
The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is the lawgiver. No playwright, no stage director, no emperor, however powerful has exercised such absolute authority to arrange a stage or field of battle and to command such unswervingly dutiful actors or troops. (Joseph Weizenbaum)
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared. (P. J. Plauger)
Theory is when you know something, but it doesn’t work. Practice is when something works, but you don’t know why. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don’t know why. (Anonymous)
Programmers do it bit by bit. (Anonymous)
It is well-known that a computer scientist working in academia is a machine for turning coffee into publications. (Anonymous)
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. (Anonymous)
Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of one’s native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer. (Edsger W. Dijkstra)

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