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Various

The user is NOT a lower life form. (Ken Becker)
Suppose you went back to Ada Lovelace and asked her the difference between a script and a program. She’d probably look at you funny, then say something like: Well, a script is what you give the actors, but a program is what you give the audience. (Larry Wall)
We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil. (C. A. R. Hoare)
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not. (Yogi Berra)
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. (Albert Einstein)
I have found that the reason a lot of people are interested in artificial intelligence is the same reason a lot of people are interested in artificial limbs: they are missing one. (David Parnas)
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them. (Laurence J. Peter)
You’re bound to be unhappy if you optimize everything. (Donald Knuth)
Trying to outsmart a compiler defeats much of the purpose of using one. (Kernighan and Plauger)
The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone. (Oswald Chambers)
Q: What is the difference between an object methodologist and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with the terrorist. (Anonymous)
I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes. (Dennie van Tassel)
There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence. (Jeremy S. Anderson)
Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job. (Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering)
Your program is sick! Shoot it and put it out of its memory. (Anonymous)
Your Zip file is open. (Anonymous)
Unix is user-friendly. It’s just very selective about who its friends are. (Anonymous)
Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades. (Anonymous)
The box said, Win95 or better required… so I used a Mac! (Tim Scoff)
Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error. (Anonymous)
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you. (Anonymous)

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